


The statutory duel

by Shimyereh



Category: The Grand Duke - Sullivan/Gilbert, Евгений Онегин | Eugene Onegin - Aleksandr Pushkin
Genre: Gen, Poetry, Pushkin sonnets, Sonnets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:13:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24131881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shimyereh/pseuds/Shimyereh
Summary: An excerpt fromGilbert & Sullivan’sGrand Duke, retold in Onegin stanzas. I’ve mostly adaptedthe Notary’s songfrom Act I, plus a bit of context from Ludwig and Rudolph’s duel at the top of the Act I finale.
Kudos: 3





	The statutory duel

I.  
“It seems we’ve hit on our solution:  
A statutory duel, agreed?”  
“Agreed, indeed.” “The execution  
Is key, of course. So now we need  
A _devil_ of a confrontation!”  
“A most convincing altercation!”  
“The ace is hidden in my sleeve,  
The king in yours — we mustn’t leave  
A bit of this to chance. We’ll play it  
With care…”  
_Hang on_ , I hear, _not cool!  
_ _What is a “statutory duel”?  
_ You need me to explain? Just say it!  
I have a speech prepared, no less:  
I’m all too happy to digress.

II.  
A century ago, this action  
Was taken by a local prince:  
All foes demanding satisfaction  
Draw cards to settle; ever since,  
That’s how it’s done. Who draws the lowest  
Is “dead” by law — a _legal ghoest!  
_ (Ahem.) To briefly sum the case,  
The winner takes the loser’s place,  
Takes on the life his rival loses:  
Must handle all his debts and bets  
And kith and kin — in short, he gets  
To step into the dead man’s shoeses.  
(Forgive me, I can’t help it — I’m  
A sucker for a stupid rhyme.)

III.  
This variant of the Code Duello  
Is much less bloody, you’ll agree.  
Of course the loser is, poor fellow,  
Quite dead — but only legally.  
A simple set of limitations,  
Though not without its complications:  
When everything is done and said,  
Where _do_ you put the “legal dead”?  
They’re all too prone to go on haunting  
Familiar places, friends and foes,  
Unsuited to serene repose…  
Forget it — this is far too daunting;  
No clever plan’s without _some_ flaw.  
Three cheers for this ingenious law!


End file.
